I walked into my house. "Hello, mother" She looked sternly at me as usual.
"Hello. Change out of your school dress and get ready." We were going to our routine
Friday night Christian gathering at our church. My mom has been taking us there hoping I'll meet a nice Christian boy. "Ok." I obeyed. I went to my room and took off my ugly tan dress, placed it in the hamper and walked over to my closet. I picked out a slightly better looking floral dress. I sat down on my bed and sighed. I thought of all the fun clothes Zoe and every other girl wears at school. A tear fell out of my eye when I looked at my ugly dress. I thought of all the different type of cloths I want to wear;
skinny jeans, tank tops, mini skirts, shorts, pants, colorful shirts. I'm sick of floral dresses. I never once wore a pair of pants in my life. I wiped my eyes and just sucked it up. I put the dress on. My mom said this is the way God wants me to dress.
I grabbed the bow out of my hair and let my long hair fall down. I look so much better this way. I ran my fingered threw my hair and sighed. I got a few final glances and tied it back in to a pony tail. "Samatha?" I heard my dad say. "Yes?" I asked as I stepped put of my bedroom. "There's my daughter!" He smiled through his thick beard. "You're growing up too fast." He shook his head. "So, are you ready to go?"
I nodded. "Let's go!" He tried to be enthusiastic. "Wait, Greg, I'm not ready." My mom said while walking to her bed room. "Samatha, why don't you sit down? I want to talk to you."
I sat down at the couch. "Yes, father?"
"Hello. Change out of your school dress and get ready." We were going to our routine
Friday night Christian gathering at our church. My mom has been taking us there hoping I'll meet a nice Christian boy. "Ok." I obeyed. I went to my room and took off my ugly tan dress, placed it in the hamper and walked over to my closet. I picked out a slightly better looking floral dress. I sat down on my bed and sighed. I thought of all the fun clothes Zoe and every other girl wears at school. A tear fell out of my eye when I looked at my ugly dress. I thought of all the different type of cloths I want to wear;
skinny jeans, tank tops, mini skirts, shorts, pants, colorful shirts. I'm sick of floral dresses. I never once wore a pair of pants in my life. I wiped my eyes and just sucked it up. I put the dress on. My mom said this is the way God wants me to dress.
I grabbed the bow out of my hair and let my long hair fall down. I look so much better this way. I ran my fingered threw my hair and sighed. I got a few final glances and tied it back in to a pony tail. "Samatha?" I heard my dad say. "Yes?" I asked as I stepped put of my bedroom. "There's my daughter!" He smiled through his thick beard. "You're growing up too fast." He shook his head. "So, are you ready to go?"
I nodded. "Let's go!" He tried to be enthusiastic. "Wait, Greg, I'm not ready." My mom said while walking to her bed room. "Samatha, why don't you sit down? I want to talk to you."
I sat down at the couch. "Yes, father?"
"You're almost 18. You need to find the right guy soon, so you can get married and have children. I think..." He pulled his wallet out and showed be a picture of a black haired guy. "... I may have found him. His name is Brian. He's 18 and is a nice Christian man. Not to mention he is rich, but that shouldn't matter. Greed is a sin. However that means he can support you and your future children. I mean I just want you to meet him. This isn't an arranged marriage." He chuckled. "That sounds lovely, dad, I just want to meet him before I really make any decisions." My stomach grew a knot. I'm only 17 and I have to worry about a husband and kids. And If I had a husband I would have to honor him too. That means a lifetime of dresses, if he wants me to wear them.
"Great! You'll be meeting him at the gathering today." My heart dropped. "Oh" I said quietly hiding my fear. "That sounds great. Although I am a bit nervous." I laughed. "You'll be fine." I nodded as a reply. I wasn't nervous at the thought of meeting him. For some reason the thought of marrying a man freaked me out a bit. "I'm ready, let's go!" she commanded. My dad and I got up and we got into the car.
After a while of driving I saw the sign for the church gathering in big black letters.
PRAYERS UNITED
CHURCH GATHERING
TODAY AT FRIDAY 3:00 P.M.
"We're here." Dad said. We stepped out of the car. I stepped into the bright white room with a table of cookies and refreshments, rows of seats and a microphone in front of the room. "Hey, Sam, there's Brian. Talk to him for a few minutes before the minister speaks." He smiled. I nodded as a response. I walked slowly towards
Brian. He was a tall, off putting man. He has a suit and tie on and looked like he could be in movies. He had short spiky dark hair. He was pretty muscular guy . "Um, hello." He turned over and looked at me with his dark brown eyes.
"I'm Samatha."
"Oh, you! My dad told me about you." My stomach grew sick thinking about his dad talking about me. "You look better than I expected, and I expected a lot." He smiled. Great, a flirt.
"Thanks. So, um, what does your dad do for a living?"
I asked the only thing that came to my mind.
"He owns a factory, not the one your dad works at. A different one." He smiled his white smile; to be honest his smile is probably brighter than he is. "Oh that's nice." Talking to him felt like walking trough quick sand. With Zoe it feels like swimming through water. "You know you’re very beautiful and I would love to hear more from you, but the gathering is starting so I'll give you my number after the session. Maybe we can work out a little date." He smiled a crocked smile.
"Sure that would be awesome." I smiled. "Ok. I'll see you tomorrow maybe" He smiled. "Ok, that sounds fine." I smiled.
"Want to sit together?"
"Sure." I smiled. I sat down to the right of my dad while Brian sat to the right of me. The preacher, well, preached obviously. This speech was about forgiveness. How wrath was a deadly sin and only god deserves that right to be angry. I knew about
everything he was talking about because I've been hearing it for 17 years. So I let my mind wander. About Zoey mostly; her eyes, her hair, her smile, her voice, her laugh. I don't know why I feel this way towards her. I never had a best friend so maybe
this is what it feels like. Sweaty palms, butterflies in stomach, heart races when I see her. And her smile makes me so happy. But she's a Carson. My mom hates the Carsons. And the Carsons aren't too found of us. Her mom hates my mom and the feeling is mutual. Her sister hates me but I don't hate her back because hate comes from wrath and, as the lesson I'm hearing says, wrath is a sin. Not to mention Zoey's gay. My mom is homophobic. I don't want to be homophobic but my mom says God wants be to be. But it doesn't say that in the bible, I don’t think. So I just didn't think about it until now. Zoey's awesome but she is what my mom said God doesn't want her to
be. So I'm utterly confused, and I was tremendously confused before this.
Zoey told me she's getting a nose piercing next week, and is considering getting a tattoo. I don’t really approve of those things but she's making her chances of my mom liking her even lower. And I don't even think there was a chance in the first place. Even if
my mother accepted her, her mother hates Christians. Her mother would never accept me. So two people from her family hate me and two people from my family hate her. I wish I could sleep over just one day with her. That may never happen until we have our own place.
And Brian, he's just another problem. I don't like him and I may have a date with him tomorrow. My dad wants me to get married so soon and I'm not ready. Honestly I never was attracted to men. They're too intolerable. And even though I have only known Brian for a few hours I don't like him. He seems too charismatic for me.
Before I knew it the short session was over and the sound of everyone getting up flowed through the room. "Samatha." Brian said while handing me a piece of paper with his number. "Call me tonight so we can make plans." He smiled. "Ok" I smiled.
"You're shy, huh?" He asked.
"A little." I laughed.
"That's ok. It's cute" He smiled.
"Thanks." I admit, I blushed a little.
"Well, I got to go." I said.
"Bye" He said.
"Bye." I waved to him.
I walked out to the car with my parents. Maybe he isn't as bad as I thought. Yet I still feel no connection with him, at least not romantically.
"So how did things go with Brian?" mom asked. "Well I'm calling him tonight and we are planning a date."
"A date? Well that’s good" My mom said. "I knew things would go good with you two." Dad said. "Well, it's still a little too soon to say how things will go." I said. "Hopefully, it will go good. I just know you two would be perfect together." My mom said. "Hey, mom, this is so off topic but, I was curious as to what you thought of Zoey Carson. I know what you think of Lisa and Suzy Carson but I'm curious as to what you think of Zoey, she doesn't seem bad." I said thinking about if this will go well or not. She shrugged. "I don't really know much about Zoey, to be truthful. However she's the spawn of that evil Suzy who basically is the devil herself. Plus she grew up around Lisa whose view of the world
is skewed." She gave a quick mocking laugh." And her hair. I'm sure god did not give her pink hair! It's not natural. It's going against God's intentions and that’s a sin. Yet again that's assuming she actually came from God." She shook her head. My heart was racing with anger, I was thinking of ways to honor my mother but still defend Zoe.
"Well, God mustn't mind if he let it happen." I say. "He gave her free will. She used to go against God's design. God didn't stop her for a reason, because she wanted to do it. And don't defend her, she's a Carson." There was a moment of
silence before mother broke it by muttering "And she's a whore for the way she dresses." I honestly wanted to slap her across the face for saying that, but God is watching. "She's not a whore she's made from God and only God can judge. Also when he does he won't judge by what she wears. 'The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.' Samuel 16:7" "Samatha Grace Brown! Don't defend that- that, FREAK!!!" She said. I should just shut my mouth, but I can't.
"I'm not defending her, I'm defending God. He made her and your making fun of his beautiful creation by calling her a freak and a whore." "Samatha!" My dad gave a warning. "Sorry, I just said what my heart told me to, and that's where God is." I shrugged. "Samatha, she is a sinner!" "Sins can be forgiven. Remember what the minister said?" I asked. My mother turned and looked me in the eyes. She was speechless. She gave a loud sigh "In order to be forgiven you must actually admit your sins!" She said. "Maybe she will." I smiled.
"Doubt it and since when are you Zoey Carson's best friend?" she laughed. "Since she defended me against someone who was making fun of the way I dress." "She did that?" She asked.
"Yes, she's really nice." I said. "She wants me to sleep over her house tomorrow." "NO!" My parents said simultaneously.
"Great! You'll be meeting him at the gathering today." My heart dropped. "Oh" I said quietly hiding my fear. "That sounds great. Although I am a bit nervous." I laughed. "You'll be fine." I nodded as a reply. I wasn't nervous at the thought of meeting him. For some reason the thought of marrying a man freaked me out a bit. "I'm ready, let's go!" she commanded. My dad and I got up and we got into the car.
After a while of driving I saw the sign for the church gathering in big black letters.
PRAYERS UNITED
CHURCH GATHERING
TODAY AT FRIDAY 3:00 P.M.
"We're here." Dad said. We stepped out of the car. I stepped into the bright white room with a table of cookies and refreshments, rows of seats and a microphone in front of the room. "Hey, Sam, there's Brian. Talk to him for a few minutes before the minister speaks." He smiled. I nodded as a response. I walked slowly towards
Brian. He was a tall, off putting man. He has a suit and tie on and looked like he could be in movies. He had short spiky dark hair. He was pretty muscular guy . "Um, hello." He turned over and looked at me with his dark brown eyes.
"I'm Samatha."
"Oh, you! My dad told me about you." My stomach grew sick thinking about his dad talking about me. "You look better than I expected, and I expected a lot." He smiled. Great, a flirt.
"Thanks. So, um, what does your dad do for a living?"
I asked the only thing that came to my mind.
"He owns a factory, not the one your dad works at. A different one." He smiled his white smile; to be honest his smile is probably brighter than he is. "Oh that's nice." Talking to him felt like walking trough quick sand. With Zoe it feels like swimming through water. "You know you’re very beautiful and I would love to hear more from you, but the gathering is starting so I'll give you my number after the session. Maybe we can work out a little date." He smiled a crocked smile.
"Sure that would be awesome." I smiled. "Ok. I'll see you tomorrow maybe" He smiled. "Ok, that sounds fine." I smiled.
"Want to sit together?"
"Sure." I smiled. I sat down to the right of my dad while Brian sat to the right of me. The preacher, well, preached obviously. This speech was about forgiveness. How wrath was a deadly sin and only god deserves that right to be angry. I knew about
everything he was talking about because I've been hearing it for 17 years. So I let my mind wander. About Zoey mostly; her eyes, her hair, her smile, her voice, her laugh. I don't know why I feel this way towards her. I never had a best friend so maybe
this is what it feels like. Sweaty palms, butterflies in stomach, heart races when I see her. And her smile makes me so happy. But she's a Carson. My mom hates the Carsons. And the Carsons aren't too found of us. Her mom hates my mom and the feeling is mutual. Her sister hates me but I don't hate her back because hate comes from wrath and, as the lesson I'm hearing says, wrath is a sin. Not to mention Zoey's gay. My mom is homophobic. I don't want to be homophobic but my mom says God wants be to be. But it doesn't say that in the bible, I don’t think. So I just didn't think about it until now. Zoey's awesome but she is what my mom said God doesn't want her to
be. So I'm utterly confused, and I was tremendously confused before this.
Zoey told me she's getting a nose piercing next week, and is considering getting a tattoo. I don’t really approve of those things but she's making her chances of my mom liking her even lower. And I don't even think there was a chance in the first place. Even if
my mother accepted her, her mother hates Christians. Her mother would never accept me. So two people from her family hate me and two people from my family hate her. I wish I could sleep over just one day with her. That may never happen until we have our own place.
And Brian, he's just another problem. I don't like him and I may have a date with him tomorrow. My dad wants me to get married so soon and I'm not ready. Honestly I never was attracted to men. They're too intolerable. And even though I have only known Brian for a few hours I don't like him. He seems too charismatic for me.
Before I knew it the short session was over and the sound of everyone getting up flowed through the room. "Samatha." Brian said while handing me a piece of paper with his number. "Call me tonight so we can make plans." He smiled. "Ok" I smiled.
"You're shy, huh?" He asked.
"A little." I laughed.
"That's ok. It's cute" He smiled.
"Thanks." I admit, I blushed a little.
"Well, I got to go." I said.
"Bye" He said.
"Bye." I waved to him.
I walked out to the car with my parents. Maybe he isn't as bad as I thought. Yet I still feel no connection with him, at least not romantically.
"So how did things go with Brian?" mom asked. "Well I'm calling him tonight and we are planning a date."
"A date? Well that’s good" My mom said. "I knew things would go good with you two." Dad said. "Well, it's still a little too soon to say how things will go." I said. "Hopefully, it will go good. I just know you two would be perfect together." My mom said. "Hey, mom, this is so off topic but, I was curious as to what you thought of Zoey Carson. I know what you think of Lisa and Suzy Carson but I'm curious as to what you think of Zoey, she doesn't seem bad." I said thinking about if this will go well or not. She shrugged. "I don't really know much about Zoey, to be truthful. However she's the spawn of that evil Suzy who basically is the devil herself. Plus she grew up around Lisa whose view of the world
is skewed." She gave a quick mocking laugh." And her hair. I'm sure god did not give her pink hair! It's not natural. It's going against God's intentions and that’s a sin. Yet again that's assuming she actually came from God." She shook her head. My heart was racing with anger, I was thinking of ways to honor my mother but still defend Zoe.
"Well, God mustn't mind if he let it happen." I say. "He gave her free will. She used to go against God's design. God didn't stop her for a reason, because she wanted to do it. And don't defend her, she's a Carson." There was a moment of
silence before mother broke it by muttering "And she's a whore for the way she dresses." I honestly wanted to slap her across the face for saying that, but God is watching. "She's not a whore she's made from God and only God can judge. Also when he does he won't judge by what she wears. 'The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.' Samuel 16:7" "Samatha Grace Brown! Don't defend that- that, FREAK!!!" She said. I should just shut my mouth, but I can't.
"I'm not defending her, I'm defending God. He made her and your making fun of his beautiful creation by calling her a freak and a whore." "Samatha!" My dad gave a warning. "Sorry, I just said what my heart told me to, and that's where God is." I shrugged. "Samatha, she is a sinner!" "Sins can be forgiven. Remember what the minister said?" I asked. My mother turned and looked me in the eyes. She was speechless. She gave a loud sigh "In order to be forgiven you must actually admit your sins!" She said. "Maybe she will." I smiled.
"Doubt it and since when are you Zoey Carson's best friend?" she laughed. "Since she defended me against someone who was making fun of the way I dress." "She did that?" She asked.
"Yes, she's really nice." I said. "She wants me to sleep over her house tomorrow." "NO!" My parents said simultaneously.
"Look how rebellious you've become from just talking to her! You'll have a tattoo by the time your little slumber party is over!" Sadness filled my body. Then an idea hit me.
"What if she spends the night at our house, than you can watch us!?" I smiled. My mom tilted her head to the side. "Hm, that’s not a bad idea. Maybe
she'll learn a few things about Christian views." she said. I felt like screaming I was so happy. "Thanks, so much mom! I'll call her tonight." "Just remember you still have a date with Brian. That's your top priority!" She said sternly. "Ok, mother." I smiled and for once on the inside, I never have been so happy. Zoey is the only girl - no the only person who seems to actually care about me. "But we're doing this for GOD not you. If she sleeps over on Saturday then she must go to church with us. Hopefully we can save her soul." She said. I admit I was a bit hurt by her first statement. But I was too happy to be concerned.
"Brian, hi this is Samatha." I said while I was in my room. I called Brian as soon as we got home to get it over with.
"Oh, hi! Glad you called."
"So do you have anywhere in mind you would want to go?"
"Hmm, well yes I was thinking about going to that Pretty Penny Restaurant. Do like that place?"
"Yeah, that sounds good. What time will you pick me up tomorrow?"
"Is 2:00 P.M. good?"
"Yes, that sounds fine."
"Great, I can' wait! I'll see you at two."
"Ok I'll see you than. Bye, Brian."
"Bye, Samatha"
I sighed. I really don't want to go on a date with him. I don't like him. I barely know him and my parents are already expecting marriage and kids!
I picked up the phone more excited because it was time to call Zoe. I dialed the number on the napkin from lunch.
"Hello, Zoe?"
"Hey, Sammy. Sup?
"Nothing really, but I got come good news!"
"Hm?"
"Well, my mom said you could sleep over tomorrow as long as you go to church with us."
There was silence.
"You mean spend the night in a house with your mom?"
"Yes."
"Uhh..."
"It will be fine! My mom won't do anything to you."
"It's not just that, it's church. They'll judge me."
I laughed.
"No they won't! It's a stereotype that all Christians are smug and judgmental. They're mostly nice. Trust me, even on the off chance they say something I'll defend you."
"Fine. My mom won't like this." She giggled
"Neither will Lisa" I said.
"Ha, who cares about her?!" We laughed at the same time.
"What time should I come over tomorrow?" She asked.
"Well I have a date tomorrow-"
"A date?!?" She said it like it bothered her for some reason.
"Yeah, so?"
"Ummm, nothing just didn’t know you had a boyfriend."
"I don't. My parents are setting us up. I met him and didn't really like him, to be honest."
"Oh." She said with a slight sound of relief in her voice.
"Anyways as I was saying I have the date at 2 tomorrow so I'll call you when I get home."
"Ok sick."
"Sick?"
"It means cool." She giggled and I felt slightly embarrassed.
"Oh."
"Hey if you mom approves of me do you think she would let us hang out together?"
"No, unless she was with us."
"Aw, suckage."
"Yeah."
"Do you think the church will make fun of my hair?"
"No, I don't think so. They might comment on it at the most. Besides I told you I would defend you if they did."
"Oh I never asked, who's the dude you’re going out with?"
"His name is Brian."
"Is he cute?"
"A little, I guess." I never really considered if he is attractive or not.
"Do you like him?" She said in a teasing manner.
“Not really”
"What's he like?"
"Uh don't know I just met him today. He's nice and all but no connection. Plus he comes on a bit too strong."
"Oh, guys are all the same anyways. Luckily I don't have to worry about that" She giggled.
"Hey, when did you know you were...gay?" I said with more struggle than I wanted to.
"I can't really remember. I think I just always knew. I never really liked guys that way."
"Oh. Was it scary, like, coming out?"
"Nah not really. You think my sister and mom would even care?" She laughed "They weren't even surprised."
"Really?" I laughed. "I could only imagine if I told my mom."
"Wait are you..."
"No!"
"Too defensive for me to believe..." She sang mockingly.
"I'm not" My voice was too shaky to convince anyone.
She just laughed her beautiful laugh.
"I'm just teasing"
"I know." I said, again, too defensive.
“So what are the plans for tomorrow?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t thought about it much. I guess we’ll just see tomorrow.” “Samatha, come here.” I heard my mother say.
“I got to go, Zoe. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“Bye.”
“Bye” I said sadly and hung up.
I walked out of my room and walked up to my mother. “Yes?”
“I thought we should go shopping for a new dress. I want you to look good for your date.
Also I’m giving you my consent to wear make up. But only for this date!” she said but I was still excited by the thought of wearing make up. “After the date you go to the bathroom, wipe that make up off, and give it to me until your next date, understand?”
“Yes!” I nodded.
“Ok, let’s go.” She said.
When we arrived at the mall my mom looked at me and reminded me about the make up and added a new rule about it. “Only mascara, lipstick, eye shadow and blush. That’s the only make up you can get! And no eyeliner! Eye’s are windows to the soul and I don’t want yours being dark!”
“Okay, mother.”
“Let’s go get the dress first. Remember no dresses that come above the knee.”
“Okay.” I fake smiled.
We walked through the mall until we reached a store full of dresses.
“Do you see any you like?” Mother asked.
“Hmm, I like this one” I held a piece of a sparkly blue dress.
“No, it’s too whorish. How about this one?” She took a white dress with red dots and a red belt around the waist off the hanger. “Try it on!” She said before I could give my judgment on it. I took the dress and walked in the dressing room. I took off my floral dress and put on the red speckled one. I tied the belt around my waist and looked in the mirror. The dress was ok but too retro for me to be fond of, not that I had a say in it. I walked out of the dressing room where my mom waiting for me. She looked at it. “Turn around.” She said and I obeyed her. “The dress is perfect, it will do. Here I found some red heels to match.” I slipped them on. They did match but I looked like I stepped out of the 1950’s. “Perfect, Brian will love it” She grinned. Now get put on your regular dress and we’ll buy this.
Once we bought the outfit, along with a red hair bow my mom found, we
went to the make up store. “Samatha, you can pick the eye shadow but only the eye shadow, I’ll pick out everything else.” “Ok, thank you mother.” She nodded and walked away. I walked to a shelf that had eye shadow. I picked up a pretty gold colored eye shadow. I thought perhaps it would make me look less pale. I perused the shelf to see if there’s a possibility I may find another one I liked. When I decided this one was prefect for me I kept it. I walked around until I found mother. “I found the eye shadow, mom.” “Okay.” She said without turning around. I stood as she looks through the blush. She had red lipstick and black mascara within her hand. She lifted up a pink colored blush.
“I’m ready.” She said and we walked over to the register.
“You’re going to look great for your date, Samatha.”
“Thanks, mom, and thanks for taking me.”
She just nodded as a response.
“I have a new set of rules for you to remember.” I could see her smile in the rear view mirror. “For what?”
“For when that sinner Zoey comes over.
First of all do not get in the car when she is behind the wheel.
Second, never be alone in a room if the door is shut.
Don’t listen to any of her beliefs if the don’t involve Christianity.
Don’t leave the property with her unless I’m around.
And lastly if she is still a sinner when we leave church that day she is banned from you.”
My heart dropped at that last one.
“You can’t honestly anticipate someone changing their whole like in an hour of church, do you?”
“It’s possible. If she’s such a good person like you claim than you shouldn’t even worry!”
I swallowed out of fear.
“What your expectations?” I asked.
“Well, for one she has to at least seem like she’s seeing Christ as our savior. She will get rid of that ridiculous hair color. “
“Her hair is beautiful though.”
“It goes against god’s intentions.”
“How do know what his intentions are?”
“If his intentions was for her to have pink hair than that’s how she would have been born! Now let me carry on she must confess all her sins and ask for forgiveness. She must stop dressing like a slut, and lastly she must go to church with us every Sunday.”
My stomach grew sick that Zoe would have to make so many changes so soon to be allowed in my life. "You’re not just asking her to turn over a new leaf. You’re asking her to cut down her magnificent tree and grow a new one in less than a day!”
“I just want her to be a perfect friend for you.”
“If you want her to be perfect than just have her stay the same”
“Samatha if you keep defending her than she won’t come over at all!”
“Sorry, mother.”
It was finally night time. Tomorrow is kind of an excited day. First my date with Brian and then my first sleep over. I took my dress and bra off and put them into my hamper. I reached into my dresser and pulled out a long pink, silky night gown. I grabbed the brush off my dresser and brushed my hair. I was nervous for tomorrow and Sunday. What if Zoey fails my mom’s little “test”. I can’t live with out her. Thank god for school. The only thing is there’s only a month left of it. What will it belike after I turn 18? Will I be able to move out and see Zoe? I guess only time will answer my questions.
A thud against my window broke my train of thought and then another thud against my window. “Samatha.” I heard a voice whisper. I admit I was very afraid. That is until I realized the voice was Zoe’s. I ran to my door and locked it. I ran to the window and opened it. “Zoey! What one earth are you doing?! Do you know what my mother would do if she found out about this?!?!?!” She just giggled. “Calm down.” She said as she stepped into my room. “Calm down? Your already walking on egg shells with her and now you decide to do this?!” I whispered. She nodded. “So this is what your hair looks like? Kinda sexy I admit” she giggled “I admit I love gingers” I shook my head that she would even think this is a time to joke around. “H-How did you get here anyway? And how do you even know where I live?!”
“We rode the same bus a few years back. I have a good memory. And I drove to the end of your street and walked up to your house.”
“Well how did you know what room to go to?”
“Well I just threw pebbles at a window until I got you”
“You did what?!?! You threw a pebble at my parent’s window?!”
“No I think I got the bathroom the first time. The second time I got you” She smiled.
She lied down on my bed and put her hands behind her head.
“So, this is your bedroom. Very 1950’s. No offence.”
“None taken. I can’t believe you did this.” I shook my head.
“It’s not biggie.”
“Yes it is and keep your voice down these are thin walls.”
“Sorry.” She whispered. She gestured her hand in a ‘come over here’ manner. “Sit down.” She whispered.
I walked over and sat down on my bed with her.
“What?”
"What if she spends the night at our house, than you can watch us!?" I smiled. My mom tilted her head to the side. "Hm, that’s not a bad idea. Maybe
she'll learn a few things about Christian views." she said. I felt like screaming I was so happy. "Thanks, so much mom! I'll call her tonight." "Just remember you still have a date with Brian. That's your top priority!" She said sternly. "Ok, mother." I smiled and for once on the inside, I never have been so happy. Zoey is the only girl - no the only person who seems to actually care about me. "But we're doing this for GOD not you. If she sleeps over on Saturday then she must go to church with us. Hopefully we can save her soul." She said. I admit I was a bit hurt by her first statement. But I was too happy to be concerned.
"Brian, hi this is Samatha." I said while I was in my room. I called Brian as soon as we got home to get it over with.
"Oh, hi! Glad you called."
"So do you have anywhere in mind you would want to go?"
"Hmm, well yes I was thinking about going to that Pretty Penny Restaurant. Do like that place?"
"Yeah, that sounds good. What time will you pick me up tomorrow?"
"Is 2:00 P.M. good?"
"Yes, that sounds fine."
"Great, I can' wait! I'll see you at two."
"Ok I'll see you than. Bye, Brian."
"Bye, Samatha"
I sighed. I really don't want to go on a date with him. I don't like him. I barely know him and my parents are already expecting marriage and kids!
I picked up the phone more excited because it was time to call Zoe. I dialed the number on the napkin from lunch.
"Hello, Zoe?"
"Hey, Sammy. Sup?
"Nothing really, but I got come good news!"
"Hm?"
"Well, my mom said you could sleep over tomorrow as long as you go to church with us."
There was silence.
"You mean spend the night in a house with your mom?"
"Yes."
"Uhh..."
"It will be fine! My mom won't do anything to you."
"It's not just that, it's church. They'll judge me."
I laughed.
"No they won't! It's a stereotype that all Christians are smug and judgmental. They're mostly nice. Trust me, even on the off chance they say something I'll defend you."
"Fine. My mom won't like this." She giggled
"Neither will Lisa" I said.
"Ha, who cares about her?!" We laughed at the same time.
"What time should I come over tomorrow?" She asked.
"Well I have a date tomorrow-"
"A date?!?" She said it like it bothered her for some reason.
"Yeah, so?"
"Ummm, nothing just didn’t know you had a boyfriend."
"I don't. My parents are setting us up. I met him and didn't really like him, to be honest."
"Oh." She said with a slight sound of relief in her voice.
"Anyways as I was saying I have the date at 2 tomorrow so I'll call you when I get home."
"Ok sick."
"Sick?"
"It means cool." She giggled and I felt slightly embarrassed.
"Oh."
"Hey if you mom approves of me do you think she would let us hang out together?"
"No, unless she was with us."
"Aw, suckage."
"Yeah."
"Do you think the church will make fun of my hair?"
"No, I don't think so. They might comment on it at the most. Besides I told you I would defend you if they did."
"Oh I never asked, who's the dude you’re going out with?"
"His name is Brian."
"Is he cute?"
"A little, I guess." I never really considered if he is attractive or not.
"Do you like him?" She said in a teasing manner.
“Not really”
"What's he like?"
"Uh don't know I just met him today. He's nice and all but no connection. Plus he comes on a bit too strong."
"Oh, guys are all the same anyways. Luckily I don't have to worry about that" She giggled.
"Hey, when did you know you were...gay?" I said with more struggle than I wanted to.
"I can't really remember. I think I just always knew. I never really liked guys that way."
"Oh. Was it scary, like, coming out?"
"Nah not really. You think my sister and mom would even care?" She laughed "They weren't even surprised."
"Really?" I laughed. "I could only imagine if I told my mom."
"Wait are you..."
"No!"
"Too defensive for me to believe..." She sang mockingly.
"I'm not" My voice was too shaky to convince anyone.
She just laughed her beautiful laugh.
"I'm just teasing"
"I know." I said, again, too defensive.
“So what are the plans for tomorrow?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t thought about it much. I guess we’ll just see tomorrow.” “Samatha, come here.” I heard my mother say.
“I got to go, Zoe. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“Bye.”
“Bye” I said sadly and hung up.
I walked out of my room and walked up to my mother. “Yes?”
“I thought we should go shopping for a new dress. I want you to look good for your date.
Also I’m giving you my consent to wear make up. But only for this date!” she said but I was still excited by the thought of wearing make up. “After the date you go to the bathroom, wipe that make up off, and give it to me until your next date, understand?”
“Yes!” I nodded.
“Ok, let’s go.” She said.
When we arrived at the mall my mom looked at me and reminded me about the make up and added a new rule about it. “Only mascara, lipstick, eye shadow and blush. That’s the only make up you can get! And no eyeliner! Eye’s are windows to the soul and I don’t want yours being dark!”
“Okay, mother.”
“Let’s go get the dress first. Remember no dresses that come above the knee.”
“Okay.” I fake smiled.
We walked through the mall until we reached a store full of dresses.
“Do you see any you like?” Mother asked.
“Hmm, I like this one” I held a piece of a sparkly blue dress.
“No, it’s too whorish. How about this one?” She took a white dress with red dots and a red belt around the waist off the hanger. “Try it on!” She said before I could give my judgment on it. I took the dress and walked in the dressing room. I took off my floral dress and put on the red speckled one. I tied the belt around my waist and looked in the mirror. The dress was ok but too retro for me to be fond of, not that I had a say in it. I walked out of the dressing room where my mom waiting for me. She looked at it. “Turn around.” She said and I obeyed her. “The dress is perfect, it will do. Here I found some red heels to match.” I slipped them on. They did match but I looked like I stepped out of the 1950’s. “Perfect, Brian will love it” She grinned. Now get put on your regular dress and we’ll buy this.
Once we bought the outfit, along with a red hair bow my mom found, we
went to the make up store. “Samatha, you can pick the eye shadow but only the eye shadow, I’ll pick out everything else.” “Ok, thank you mother.” She nodded and walked away. I walked to a shelf that had eye shadow. I picked up a pretty gold colored eye shadow. I thought perhaps it would make me look less pale. I perused the shelf to see if there’s a possibility I may find another one I liked. When I decided this one was prefect for me I kept it. I walked around until I found mother. “I found the eye shadow, mom.” “Okay.” She said without turning around. I stood as she looks through the blush. She had red lipstick and black mascara within her hand. She lifted up a pink colored blush.
“I’m ready.” She said and we walked over to the register.
“You’re going to look great for your date, Samatha.”
“Thanks, mom, and thanks for taking me.”
She just nodded as a response.
“I have a new set of rules for you to remember.” I could see her smile in the rear view mirror. “For what?”
“For when that sinner Zoey comes over.
First of all do not get in the car when she is behind the wheel.
Second, never be alone in a room if the door is shut.
Don’t listen to any of her beliefs if the don’t involve Christianity.
Don’t leave the property with her unless I’m around.
And lastly if she is still a sinner when we leave church that day she is banned from you.”
My heart dropped at that last one.
“You can’t honestly anticipate someone changing their whole like in an hour of church, do you?”
“It’s possible. If she’s such a good person like you claim than you shouldn’t even worry!”
I swallowed out of fear.
“What your expectations?” I asked.
“Well, for one she has to at least seem like she’s seeing Christ as our savior. She will get rid of that ridiculous hair color. “
“Her hair is beautiful though.”
“It goes against god’s intentions.”
“How do know what his intentions are?”
“If his intentions was for her to have pink hair than that’s how she would have been born! Now let me carry on she must confess all her sins and ask for forgiveness. She must stop dressing like a slut, and lastly she must go to church with us every Sunday.”
My stomach grew sick that Zoe would have to make so many changes so soon to be allowed in my life. "You’re not just asking her to turn over a new leaf. You’re asking her to cut down her magnificent tree and grow a new one in less than a day!”
“I just want her to be a perfect friend for you.”
“If you want her to be perfect than just have her stay the same”
“Samatha if you keep defending her than she won’t come over at all!”
“Sorry, mother.”
It was finally night time. Tomorrow is kind of an excited day. First my date with Brian and then my first sleep over. I took my dress and bra off and put them into my hamper. I reached into my dresser and pulled out a long pink, silky night gown. I grabbed the brush off my dresser and brushed my hair. I was nervous for tomorrow and Sunday. What if Zoey fails my mom’s little “test”. I can’t live with out her. Thank god for school. The only thing is there’s only a month left of it. What will it belike after I turn 18? Will I be able to move out and see Zoe? I guess only time will answer my questions.
A thud against my window broke my train of thought and then another thud against my window. “Samatha.” I heard a voice whisper. I admit I was very afraid. That is until I realized the voice was Zoe’s. I ran to my door and locked it. I ran to the window and opened it. “Zoey! What one earth are you doing?! Do you know what my mother would do if she found out about this?!?!?!” She just giggled. “Calm down.” She said as she stepped into my room. “Calm down? Your already walking on egg shells with her and now you decide to do this?!” I whispered. She nodded. “So this is what your hair looks like? Kinda sexy I admit” she giggled “I admit I love gingers” I shook my head that she would even think this is a time to joke around. “H-How did you get here anyway? And how do you even know where I live?!”
“We rode the same bus a few years back. I have a good memory. And I drove to the end of your street and walked up to your house.”
“Well how did you know what room to go to?”
“Well I just threw pebbles at a window until I got you”
“You did what?!?! You threw a pebble at my parent’s window?!”
“No I think I got the bathroom the first time. The second time I got you” She smiled.
She lied down on my bed and put her hands behind her head.
“So, this is your bedroom. Very 1950’s. No offence.”
“None taken. I can’t believe you did this.” I shook my head.
“It’s not biggie.”
“Yes it is and keep your voice down these are thin walls.”
“Sorry.” She whispered. She gestured her hand in a ‘come over here’ manner. “Sit down.” She whispered.
I walked over and sat down on my bed with her.
“What?”
“I got you something at the mall today since you couldn’t come.” She reached in her hoodie pocket and took out a necklace with a big pink diamond shape on it. “It’s a scene necklace. You like it?”
I nodded as I grabbed it and put it on me.
“It looks awesome on you.” She smiled.
“Thank you.”
“Tomorrows going to be sick!”
“About that… there are some sucky rules to follow. My mother told me not to tell but I must tell you.”
“Your breaking one of the Ten Commandments for me?! I feel so damn special.”
“Seriously the rules are a lot to ask.” I frowned.
“Hit me.”
“Well the first one is we can be alone in a room together with the door shut, which is a rule we’re breaking now. Second, I can’t get in a car if you’re behind the wheel. I can’t leave the property with you unless my mother is around.”
“There not so bad”
“It get’s way worse!
You have to seem like you’re starting to see Jesus as your lord and savoir, go to church with us every Sunday, admit your sins and ask for forgiveness. And there’s two worse ones; you have to dress differently and dye your hair back.” I cringed saying that last statement. “And… what if I don’t?”
“We can’t see each other.”
“Eh, I can sneak in your room at night and we still have school. When schools over I’ll have my own place and you can move in with me, if you want, when you’re eighteen. Hell, you could even just drive to my place everyday.”
I was surprised at how well she took this. But it did bring me some comfort that we may still see each other even if my mom doesn’t approve of her.
“I already have a good paying job at my mom’s veterinarian waiting for me. I’m going to work there and get my own house. The job pays 8 grand a month, baby!”
“8 grand a month?!”
“Mhm. I’m already training at the vets. I’ll be a veterinarian assistant a few days after graduation. You gotta go house searching with me.
“How would I do that?!”
“You’ll be 18 soon and be able to drive. You pick me up in your car and can drive around looking for houses, wouldn’t that be awesome?” She smiled.
“Yeah, it would. Zoe, you must leave now. I can’t stand breaking the rules anymore.”
She laughed “Alright I don’t want to send you to hell.” It does upset a bit when she jokes about my religion. She got up out the bed and swiftly climbed back out the window.
I walked over to the window to say goodbye.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” She said as she lifted her hand up and ran her fingers through my hair “I freaking love your hair.”
“Thanks.” I said using no enthusiasm.
“Your welcome.”
“So, I’ll see you tomorrow than?”
“Yup, can’t wait. Bye bye!” She smiled her striking smile and walked away.
I lied down back in my bed and relaxed. I was relieved that there might be a way around my despicable mother. I sighed and closed my eyes. As soon as they shut I saw Zoey’s face with perfect detail. She was smiling at me while her eyes were locked to mine. I smiled at this little vision I was having. Suddenly the vision started altering and I saw me sitting at a bench by a strangely beautiful worn out barn. My hair was down and I had on jeans with a floral shirt. Zoe walks up to me wearing skinny jeans, a colorful studded belt, a tank top and her hoodie. She walked slowly towards me and with every step she took I felt more and more love fill my body. She sat by me and looked me deep in the eyes. So deep it felt she was gazing into my soul. She caressed my cheek.
“We’ll find a way, Samatha.” I could hear her voice so vividly. I don’t know what she was talking about but in my vision I did. “I love you, Zoey.” I said in my vision. “I love you too.” She smiled. She leaned in closer and pressed her lips against mine.
My eyes shot open. “What in the world?!” Is someone or something trying to tell me something?
I nodded as I grabbed it and put it on me.
“It looks awesome on you.” She smiled.
“Thank you.”
“Tomorrows going to be sick!”
“About that… there are some sucky rules to follow. My mother told me not to tell but I must tell you.”
“Your breaking one of the Ten Commandments for me?! I feel so damn special.”
“Seriously the rules are a lot to ask.” I frowned.
“Hit me.”
“Well the first one is we can be alone in a room together with the door shut, which is a rule we’re breaking now. Second, I can’t get in a car if you’re behind the wheel. I can’t leave the property with you unless my mother is around.”
“There not so bad”
“It get’s way worse!
You have to seem like you’re starting to see Jesus as your lord and savoir, go to church with us every Sunday, admit your sins and ask for forgiveness. And there’s two worse ones; you have to dress differently and dye your hair back.” I cringed saying that last statement. “And… what if I don’t?”
“We can’t see each other.”
“Eh, I can sneak in your room at night and we still have school. When schools over I’ll have my own place and you can move in with me, if you want, when you’re eighteen. Hell, you could even just drive to my place everyday.”
I was surprised at how well she took this. But it did bring me some comfort that we may still see each other even if my mom doesn’t approve of her.
“I already have a good paying job at my mom’s veterinarian waiting for me. I’m going to work there and get my own house. The job pays 8 grand a month, baby!”
“8 grand a month?!”
“Mhm. I’m already training at the vets. I’ll be a veterinarian assistant a few days after graduation. You gotta go house searching with me.
“How would I do that?!”
“You’ll be 18 soon and be able to drive. You pick me up in your car and can drive around looking for houses, wouldn’t that be awesome?” She smiled.
“Yeah, it would. Zoe, you must leave now. I can’t stand breaking the rules anymore.”
She laughed “Alright I don’t want to send you to hell.” It does upset a bit when she jokes about my religion. She got up out the bed and swiftly climbed back out the window.
I walked over to the window to say goodbye.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” She said as she lifted her hand up and ran her fingers through my hair “I freaking love your hair.”
“Thanks.” I said using no enthusiasm.
“Your welcome.”
“So, I’ll see you tomorrow than?”
“Yup, can’t wait. Bye bye!” She smiled her striking smile and walked away.
I lied down back in my bed and relaxed. I was relieved that there might be a way around my despicable mother. I sighed and closed my eyes. As soon as they shut I saw Zoey’s face with perfect detail. She was smiling at me while her eyes were locked to mine. I smiled at this little vision I was having. Suddenly the vision started altering and I saw me sitting at a bench by a strangely beautiful worn out barn. My hair was down and I had on jeans with a floral shirt. Zoe walks up to me wearing skinny jeans, a colorful studded belt, a tank top and her hoodie. She walked slowly towards me and with every step she took I felt more and more love fill my body. She sat by me and looked me deep in the eyes. So deep it felt she was gazing into my soul. She caressed my cheek.
“We’ll find a way, Samatha.” I could hear her voice so vividly. I don’t know what she was talking about but in my vision I did. “I love you, Zoey.” I said in my vision. “I love you too.” She smiled. She leaned in closer and pressed her lips against mine.
My eyes shot open. “What in the world?!” Is someone or something trying to tell me something?
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